Tom Selleck and the 7 Ft Mutant Chicken

Hey everyone

Ok, I don't often remember my dreams. I have some vivid ones and some odd ones, but they usually don't stick with me in the morning. This morning, however, I had a doosy and the first thing I could think of when I woke up was, "I have to write this down!" Where better to record the bizarre pathways of my subconscious than my 'blog? That way I can share my unconscious insanity with the rest of the world. Who knows... maybe they'll turn this into a comic strip on SlowWave.

Now, this is a very wierd dream. In retrospect I think I can trace its orgins to three distinct points:

1) Francesca Sanders and her husband Rick came over to our house last night for dinner, and we read her new play Celeste and Starla Save Todd and Win Back The Day. Now, this is a very strange play. It's quite good (in this early-draft form), and very funny... but VERY strange. I suppose that and the two cups of coffee I drank last night might have helped contribute to my mental space.

2) Trish and I recently read a science fiction script that a local film maker wants us to be part of. It's very odd as well.

3) Finally, as we tried to wind down last night after reading Francesca's play (and drinking coffee) we found Mind Hunters on cable and ended up watching the whole thing. Oh my god, what a titanic load of crap that movie was!! Aside from the completely implausable death scenes, stilted dialogue and unbelievable situation... the entire cast of characters are supposed to be FBI Profilers in training, and they do the same stupid shit that EVERYONE does in horror movies. I hate it when people do stupid things in movies, but I especially hate it when supposed smart and educated people do dumb things. It's one of my pet peeves.

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Ok, so, THE DREAM (cue wavy lines to fall across the screen): we'd just finished shooting a film with Tom Selleck, and we were having drinks at the Dirctor's house after the shoot (the director was no one famous... just a woman I wouldn't be able to name who looked kind of like this). While Tom was in the other room getting a drink, we were chatting about strange movies we'd read, seen, or been part of. After Trish or I told the her a story (can't remember what the story was), The Director leaned in and said "Don't tell Tom I told you about this, but did you ever see the science fiction western he did where he had to ride a giant mutant chicken?"

Trish and I were stunned, but about that time Tom walked in with a glass of scotch or burboun or something (no girly drinks for Tom Selleck, thank you very much!). We looked at him with questioning eyes and I said, "Tom, a giant mutant chicken?" Selleck looked very sheepish and explained that the movie and tv offers had stopped coming in, and he had been forced to take a low budget sci fi movie where he led a group of settlers through radioactive wastelands while riding a 7 ft. Chicken.

We finished our drinks and walked out to our cars. On the way through the apartment complex's parking lot, I told Tom that I assumed he had ridden a horse, and I asked him if the production team had to paint the horse he was riding blue so that they could CGI the chicken in over it. By this time he was more comfortable with the subject, and he said that no, they painted some white spots grey to match his horse's coat, but they otherwise left it alone. He did have to ride a special saddle, though, that had a 60 degree angle so it looked like was riding a chicken's back.

When we got home, we got on the computer and searched for the movie. Sure enough, there it was on IMDB. The film also had a MySpace profile with a photo of Tom Selleck riding a giant white chicken, and a video clip from the movie. All I remember about the video clip is him shouting the line, "We've got to get out of here now! Everyone saddle up your chickens!"

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So, how's that for an odd way to start your Wednesday morning? I better get to work... time to saddle up my chicken and get out of here!

If your TV is capable of receiving the SAP audio channel, tune in to OPB tonight at 6pm and you'll hear Trish and I with Duane Hanson on Golden Hours.

Hope you're all doing well... Yeee Haw (buc-buc-buckaw!!)

-Harold